If you’ve been heartbroken, don’t worry, that guy will come back to you once he uses his single phone call to call you to bail him out of prison. Then, you’ll be together forever. He will change. After being together forever you will probably dump him.

Some boys’ attention spans are shorter than Lady Gaga’s shwang. Yes, I was thinking of Charlie Sheen too. Bottoms up whiskey.

If he is really in prison, don’t bail him out (unless innocent and you can prove it with your Nancy Drew skills [who is Nancy Drew; I’m too young to know her.]) let him stay there and read the bible 85 times. Then he will probably change. Just look at how religious Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson are. They’re practically gods themselves.