1. Home Depot
Are they really gonna get on a ladder and hammer away at something?
2. The bank
They’re all broke but can still afford beer! PBRs!
I’ll do it tomorrow..
It’s just not their thing.
See you at the local hip fashion store on the corner of my street.
This is more than obvious
7. Disney Land
No one will care about the band shirt I’m wearing there…
8. A family birthday party
Just can’t see this happening either. Gotta hang with my bros and drool over our own sleeve tattoos.
Let’s eat hot dogs and pizza. Everyone goes to Applebee’s. We’re not everyone. Hipsters unite! Hipster hashtags.
10. Things Remembered
I engraved this pen holder for you? Nah.
Monthly Archives: January 2012
You know what bugs me? Companies named “Yellow” that have orange logos and girls named September born in August
It doesn’t make sense. You’re being different, but it’s not cool to be different at this time. Sorry Yellow, but you are orange. You are confusing children that are learning their colors. Now when one of those children grow up, they will be like it’s Yellow, I mean orange! No! Yellow. Orange! Gah! Do you think you are one of those games, like on Luminosity where they quiz you on which color you see rather than the word?
So I heard that Yellow Transportations HAS an orange logo because it is easier to see on the road….well………why not name your stupid company Orange Transportations. Does Oprah name her TV show Ann because it’s easier to pronounce? No, she calls it Oprah. Hey, I invented this drink called Whiskey, but let’s call it Water.
I knew a girl named September & people would ask, “Were you born in September?” (I wonder how much she loves hearing that). Wouldn’t it be cool if I just ended it there? Let’s do it, because I’ve got nothing.
Hi. I’m a good looking guy who decided to sell City Mattresses instead of being a cast member on All My Children
Hi. My name is Mark S_____. I do not look like I’m a president of a mattress company. I look like I belong on daytime television playing Erica Kane’s ex husband, Erica Kane’s current husband, Erica Kane’s son or ghost lover. I just have that look like doctor David Hayward, but I’m not a cardiologist. I sell mattresses. Bring out the whiskey, it’s party time. What’s your pleasure? Soft? A firm mattress? Let’s roll.