Monthly Archives: January 2012

Top places you will never find a hipster to be at

1. Home Depot
Are they really gonna get on a ladder and hammer away at something?
2. The bank
They’re all broke but can still afford beer! PBRs!
3. Work
I’ll do it tomorrow..
4. Hollywood
It’s just not their thing.
5. Nordstroms
See you at the local hip fashion store on the corner of my street.
6. Church
This is more than obvious
7. Disney Land
No one will care about the band shirt I’m wearing there…
8. A family birthday party
Just can’t see this happening either. Gotta hang with my bros and drool over our own sleeve tattoos.
9. Applebee’s
Let’s eat hot dogs and pizza. Everyone goes to Applebee’s. We’re not everyone. Hipsters unite! Hipster hashtags.
10. Things Remembered
I engraved this pen holder for you? Nah.

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People that have real jobs know what priorities are


Marriage is about fighting over who does more work for the other person


Hi. I’m a good looking guy who decided to sell City Mattresses instead of being a cast member on All My Children

Hi. My name is Mark S_____. I do not look like I’m a president of a mattress company. I look like I belong on daytime television playing Erica Kane’s ex husband, Erica Kane’s current husband, Erica Kane’s son or ghost lover. I just have that look like doctor David Hayward, but I’m not a cardiologist. I sell mattresses. Bring out the whiskey, it’s party time. What’s your pleasure? Soft? A firm mattress? Let’s roll.

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You’ve never heard anyone ever say, “I had fun setting up that wireless printer.”