Hi. I’m Madonna and I’ll do anything for attention.

All my body parts are in place but I sleep in a bag full of KY Jelly mixed with Dove conditioner and Target brand baby oil. I kiss girls on live television that are more than half my age. I want people to talk about me forever. I “write” children’s books. I change religions more than I change my underpants.

People don’t really have to work too hard anymore to get famous. Go on reality tv, post a video on YouTube of you doing something stupid, attend a national whiskey drinking contest…..the list goes on.

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